The hardest part about leaving…
… is coming back.
After 2 years abroad, having lived in Ecuador, The UK and Switzerland and having done volunteer work in Greece, I have now returned back home to Belgium. I have a job I absolutely LOVE and an apartment I feel 100% at home at. I live in the best city of Belgium and close to my friends.
But even though everything’s perfect, coming back is always the most difficult.
I am not saying it’s the worst part. But it is the hardest part. For me, arriving some place new is exciting, but not hard. It feels natural. I know I will find a job and a place to live, I’ll make new friends and discover new places. That I know.
But I don’t know what happens when I return home. Because time doesn’t stand still while you’re gone, even though at first sight it seems like it.
You return to the same house, the same people, the same tv-shows and the same public transport system.
Until suddenly you notice the restaurant you used to get lunch, isn’t there anymore and has been replaces by some fancy bar. You learn that there is now a direct train between your home town and the city you live. And the TV-show you followed is now 2 seasons further. Change is seen in small things.
It’s called reverse culture-shock. And there’s 3 phases to it:
At first there’s the joy of being able to see your friends and family on a regular basis. Of coming back to something you know and being able to speak your own language (well, not so much if you work in Brussels). You’re all excited about sharing your stories and getting started with your “new old life”.
And then it hits you. Probably on a sunday morning when you have absolutely nothing to do. You’re not a stranger here anymore. You know the culture, the way this country works and its people. There’s no adventures with crazy busses, no panic-moments when you’re lost and you don’t understand the language, no suspicious-but-interesting food, no excitement about the unknown. It’s simply mind-blowingly boring. I wish I could put it another way, but I can’t, because it wouldn’t be the truth. That’s when you realize all the reasons you left for in the first place are still there. Why did you come back again? To be bored? Maybe you just should’ve stayed on that island living la vida loca.
And then there’s the last phase. Now the problem with the last phase is that this time I haven’t gone through it yet. But I know what’s coming. You accept that it’s not gonna be the same as when you were living abroad, no international parties or weekend-trips to the mountains every other week.
And then the most beuatiful part can start: actually putting into use what you’ve learnt abroad to “make a difference”. I mean that in the literal way – to make a difference in your own life and hopefully that of others.
I will continue my Pilates classes, which I started in Zürich, to get in shape. I have started my dream job in learning & development, an area I had my first experiences in during my internship in Ecuador. I finally finished my degree in Webdesign and have started my first assignment. After my stay in Greece, I am now also volunteering in my city to help recognized refugees find a place to live. And I will be visiting my friends all over the world. OK fine, in Europe for now, living with a Belgian salary is not the same as with a Swiss one 😉
It’s good to be home and it’s good to be travelling, but the best thing is learning from your experiences -whatever they are – and try to do something with it – wherever you are.
I know a lot of people have experienced similar feelings after returning home, so if you’re one of them – you’re not alone.
